Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Welcome the last day of the old Michelle

Welcome to the last day of me with extra weight. And the last day of the old Michelle... In the last month I have done some serious soul searching in large part due to some STUPID decisions I was making. Decisions that were hurting my family, hurting my husband, hurting my friendships, and mostly hurting me. I found that my extreme unhappiness (I suppose it could be called Depression) was the key cause to all of the stress, arguments etc. in my life. And it was time for a change. I quit my job (thankfully my husband is doing a great job supporting us, although it is a tight budget) and went away to were I could be alone for awhile... I went to visit my dad who I had not seen since April. I was there for about 3 weeks, and because he and his wife work, and my younger brother is in school, I was able to use those 3 weeks to rediscover myself. I have cut the negative from my life, any secrets kept that needed to be out in the open came out... and everything was on the table take it or leave it. I lost a dear friend through this experience which I know will continue to make me sad, however it is time to move on and grow up. I reconnected with my husband and was remembered why I have been with him for 6 years... I LOVE HIM. I know it doesn't seem like that should have been a revalation but it really was. The night before I left we layed in our bed together talking and then just laughing together. I had an Ah-ha moment that night realizing how much I love this man. He is amazing. Everyone has flaws, so clearly he isn't perfect...but I am not either. I love him and we are working on a better stronger relationship... Okay enough blah blah background.. I decided that with this new life I have created for myself.. My postive outlook, drama free was time to change the way I live.  When my husband and I first got together I was about 140lbs. And I felt GREAT! As time progessed and things happened in my life, I gained, and gained and gained some more.. now 6 years later here I sit at 213lbs..which isnt even my heaviest weight...I don't recognize myself and I don't like the person I have become. I am motivated to change my lifestyle because it was easy to change the inside (of myself) and I feel great about it, and I know it wont be as easy to change the outside, but I know that I want this more than I want any other thing at this moment in my life. I know that when I reach my goal, that I will be a happier person all the way around... I look forward to sharing my journey with all of you!


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